You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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