Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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