I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Randomize
