Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Randomize
