IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
