I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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