dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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