i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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