i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
