You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I faked an abortion last night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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