Do you still have your period?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
