I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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