WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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