just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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