I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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