shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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