YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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