I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need a beard to bite.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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