I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
