Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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