Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
