Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
