and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Even my vagina gasped.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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