He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
