I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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