i already hear my dad disowning me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
