Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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