I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
