I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
