Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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