So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
