im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he thought i was a dude.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
