The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He has the fingertips of a God
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
