i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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