Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
