I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
