hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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