Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
