you guys were way drunker than both of me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
