bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
