There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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