I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
