Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The uberlube is also flammable
Randomize
