And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
