Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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