My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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