its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
