Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
