Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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