Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
