I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
