brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
