look no pants
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
