i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
