She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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