you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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