I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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