y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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