Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Randomize
